“Stay quiet, so you don’t embarrass yourself.”

This sentence exists in many cultures, but in Bulgaria it carries particular weight.
We hear it early. Sometimes as children. Sometimes later — at school, at work, in social settings. And sometimes we don’t hear it spoken aloud, but we feel it internally. Like a brake. Like a pause right before we speak.

There are many versions of it:
“Better not say anything.”
“I’m not sure I’ll say it correctly.”
“It will show that I’m not good enough.”

They all lead to the same place — silence, even when there is a clear thought, idea, or intention inside us.

The truth is simple, and slightly uncomfortable:
We understand far more than we allow ourselves to say.

And this has nothing to do with intelligence.
It has everything to do with confidence.

The pause before the word

We all know this moment.
In a conversation. In a meeting. In a classroom. In a new environment.

You know what you want to say. You can almost “hear” it in your head. And yet — something stops you.

That pause is not a lack of knowledge.
It is fear of evaluation.

Psychology calls this speaking inhibition — the internal block that prevents us from expressing ourselves, even when we understand perfectly well. It is extremely common, especially when using a foreign language.

It’s important to say this clearly:
🟦 it does not mean you are “bad at languages”
🟦 it does not mean you lack talent
🟦 it does not mean it’s too late

It means you have learned to protect yourself from mistakes.

How we learn to stay silent

Many of us grew up in environments where mistakes were treated as something negative.
Not as part of learning, but as failure.

Without pointing fingers, we can gently acknowledge that traditional education models have often focused more on the correct answer than on the process of thinking and expressing.

This creates a very specific habit:
👉 It’s safer to say nothing than to say something wrong.

And that habit doesn’t disappear as we grow older.
It simply changes context:

• from school → the classroom
  
• later → the workplace meeting
  
• later still → conversations with foreigners
  
• and especially with languages → “I’ll speak when I’m ready”
  The problem?
  That moment rarely comes.

Why this is even stronger with languages

Language is personal.
When we speak, we don’t just transfer information — we reveal ourselves.

 

In our native language, we have protection: nuance, tone, humor, speed.
In a foreign language, that protection temporarily disappears.

 

And that’s where fear enters:
“I’ll sound foolish.”
“They’ll notice I’m not smart enough.”
“They’ll correct me.”

But here is a crucial psychological insight we often miss:

 

People are not judging you as harshly as you think.
You are.

This is known as the spotlight effect — the tendency to believe everyone is focused on us, while in reality, most people are busy with their own thoughts.

The cultural layer: “don’t embarrass yourself in front of the foreigners”

Many Bulgarian idiomatic expressions reinforce this internal brake:
“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“Don’t make a fool of yourself.”
“Stay quiet — it’s safer.”

They are not malicious.
They were survival mechanisms in environments where mistakes were visible and punished.

But in today’s world, this mechanism no longer protects us.
It limits us.

 

We understand more than we dare to say — because understanding is safe

Understanding is internal.
Speaking is external.

When we understand, no one can correct us.
When we speak, we become visible.

And here is a truth worth repeating:

 

Confidence does not come after we speak perfectly.
It comes when we allow ourselves to speak.

 

How this shows up in different ways

🔷 People who know a lot but stay silent in meetings
🔷 People who understand almost everything in a foreign language but reply with “yes” and “ok”
🔷 Children who think quickly but hesitate to raise their hand

What they share is not lack of ability.
It is lack of a safe space to speak.

The first boundary we need to cross

Before we cross a language barrier, we must cross an internal one.

The boundary between:
“I’ll speak when I’m ready”
and
“I’ll speak in order to become ready.”

This is the hardest step — and the most liberating one.

A small but powerful shift in mindset

Instead of asking:
❌ “Am I saying this correctly?”

We begin to ask:
✅ “Am I being understood?”

This single shift changes everything.
The first question leads to fear.
The second leads to communication.

 

 

How speaking inhibition is actually overcome

Once we recognize the fear, the next question is inevitable:
What do we do with it?

This is where many people take a wrong turn.
They assume the solution is more knowledge. More grammar. More preparation.

But here is the human truth:

Fear of speaking is not solved by theory.
It is solved by experience.

You don’t think your way out of fear.
You move through it.

Confidence is not a personality trait. It’s a skill.

Confidence is often treated as something you either have or don’t have.
In reality, confidence is built the same way any skill is built — through repeated, supported action.

🟦 We don’t wait to feel confident in order to speak.
🟦 We speak in order to build confidence.

This applies to everything:
a first presentation, a first meeting, a first conversation in another language.

Confidence is the result of surviving the moment — and realizing it didn’t break us.

Why speaking must come first

When speaking is postponed “until later,” it becomes heavy.
It becomes something serious, risky, and loaded with expectations.

And yet:

Speaking is not the reward for learning.
Speaking is how learning happens.

When we speak early:

• mistakes become normal
  
• fear loses its power
  
• the brain links language to action, not evaluation
  

This is why so many people can understand a language but freeze when asked a simple question. Their learning was safe — but it was never active.

Real situations change the brain

There is a profound difference between:

• completing an exercise

and

using language to achieve something real

When language is learned through real-life situations — a conversation, a task, a decision — it becomes meaningful. The brain remembers meaning better than rules.

🔷 learning accelerates
🔷 confidence grows faster
🔷 motivation lasts longer

This is true whether:

• you’re advancing professionally
  
• working within an international team
  
• or helping a child build their first sense of expression
  
  

The difference is not the goal.
The difference is the experience.

A gentle truth about education

For a long time, learning has been associated with correctness.
With avoiding mistakes. With knowing the “right” answer.

This works well for exams.
But it doesn’t prepare us for conversations.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about context.

And today, we have the freedom to choose a different approach — one that places the human voice at the center of learning.

 

Why “I understand, but I don’t speak” is no longer enough

Passive understanding feels safe.
Active speaking feels risky.

But growth lives on the other side of risk.

There are people who understand everything in a meeting but never contribute.
There are children who know the answer but don’t raise their hand.
There are professionals with ideas who keep them inside.

What holds them back is not ability.
It is lack of speaking practice.

What truly helps

There is no magic formula.
But there are principles that consistently work:

🟦 speaking from day one
🟦 a safe environment where mistakes are allowed
🟦 real-life situations instead of abstract drills
🟦 focus on meaning, not perfection

When these elements are present, confidence is not promised.
It emerges.

Speaking as a way to belong

Language is more than communication.
It’s how we participate.

When we speak:

• we enter the conversation
  
• we connect
  
• we take our place
  

That’s why fear of speaking is so deep — it touches our sense of belonging.

And that’s why overcoming it is so powerful.

How change actually begins

Not with the perfect moment.
Not with complete preparation.

But with the first word.

The word spoken despite hesitation.
Despite an accent.
Despite uncertainty.

🔷 That is when language becomes alive.
🔷 That is when confidence starts to grow.

 

Why Berlitz is a natural continuation of this journey

We believe that:

• speaking is not the outcome — it is the method
  
• confidence is trained, not waited for
  
• language is learned through experience
  
  

That’s why real communication stands at the center of our courses from the very first lesson.
That’s why we work with real-life situations.
That’s why we create environments where people dare to speak.

The final boundary

The barrier holding many people back is not linguistic.
It is internal.

And the good news is:
it is crossed not through more knowledge, but through action.

With the first word.
With the first conversation.
With the first brave step.