How to say I love you in Chinese in 186 creative phrases

Knowing how to talk about love and romance in Chinese is an invaluable skill to have — whether you’re single or happily partnered.

Finding love and keeping it are two entirely different things in any language, but especially so in Chinese. Whether you’re looking to make your current partner happy by learning a few cute ways of saying I love you in Chinese or just want to learn some flirty and romantic phrases, you’ve got to be very careful to use the appropriate level of affection.

As you’ll learn later on in this blog, the concept of love in China is very different from the West. While Americans may say “I love you” to their friends and family all the time, love is typically reserved only for your romantic partner in Chinese. That’s right — even telling your family that you love them may not land as intended.

So, does that mean Chinese speakers don’t love their friends and family? Of course not! There are simply different ways to express love and affection in China, which may be different from the West. That’s why we’ll cover some essential cultural contexts in this article to help you navigate the world of love and romance in Chinese.

By the end of this article, you’ll be an expert at expressing love with Chinese speakers. Now, let us show you how to show love and affection in Chinese with 186 unique and romantic words, phrases, and even love songs!

How to say I love you in Chinese

First things first, let’s deal with the star of the show: how to actually say I love you in Chinese. The most common way to say this is 我爱你:

• 我 (wǒ) — I
• 爱 (ài) — to love
• 你 (nǐ) — you

The most important part here is the verb 爱 (ài), which means “to love.” You can use it to say you love people, such as:

• 我爱他 (wǒ ài tā) — I love him
• 我爱她 (wǒ ài tā) — I love her
• 我爱你们 (wǒ ài nǐ men) — I love you (plural)
• 我爱他们 (wǒ ài tā men) — I love them

However, don’t count on using this verb to say you love things, like your favorite Chinese foods or colors. We’ll get more into this later on, but using the verb 爱 (ài) isn’t commonly used to talk about things you love. Instead, it’s much more common to use the verb 喜欢 (xǐ huān), which means “to like.”

The cultural differences in expressing love in Chinese

Although 我爱你 (wǒ ài nǐ) is the most common way of saying I love you in Chinese, it’s typically not used in the same way as in the Western context. In the West, you might be used to saying I love you to your parents and close friends very frequently, perhaps even daily. However, this isn’t common in China, where expressing love as directly as saying I love you to someone is far less common.

Instead, love is expressed indirectly, either by showing concern for someone’s well-being or by doing things that show that you care about them. For example, if you’ve read our guide to saying hello in Chinese, then you already know that asking someone if they’ve eaten yet (吃了吗?) is a common way of saying hi. Although asking someone if they’ve eaten doesn’t mean you love them, this is a common way of showing love and affection in China: by inquiring about their well-being.

By the same token, doing things for others is also a sign of love. For example, treating your friends to a meal is a sign that you value and appreciate their friendship. In China more than anywhere else, actions speak louder than words, so don’t forget to go out of your way to do kind things for your loved ones every now and then.

Romantic words

While saying I love you to someone directly may not be as common, romance and love is everywhere in China. Here are some of the most common romantic words in Chinese you may find on your day-to-day:

Romantic phrases

Coming up with ways to say I love you is difficult in any language, let alone in Chinese. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of some of the most romantic phrases in Chinese so you don’t have to spend hours carefully crafting the perfect romantic phrase. Note that most of these don’t include the word “love,” so make sure to use some of the more indirect phrases if you’re just starting a new relationship.

Terms of endearment

Another indirect way of showing affection in Chinese is by using a term of endearment to refer to your loved ones. Some of these are cute and lovely, while others may seem mean on the surface. However, you’ll be able to tell that they’re meant to be terms of endearment by the tone. Plus, some of these are always used as terms of endearment — no one would use silly melon as an insult!

Romantic codes: Using numbers to say I love you

Another common indirect way of expressing love in Chinese is by using codes. If you’ve been taking Mandarin classes, then you may already know that using numbers that sound similar to phrases is a popular way to “conceal” messages and be even more indirect. Here are some of the most common romantic codes and ways to say I love you in Chinese numbers.

Chinese love quotes from proverbs and poems

To learn Chinese is to learn about the beautifully deep and rich Chinese culture. With countless emotive and thought-provoking poems, it’s no wonder that a few of them made their way into regular vernacular conversations. Here are some of the most common romantic lines and quotes from famous poems:

Romantic serenades: Chinese songs about love

Romantic souls out there will agree that words are sometimes not enough to express your true feelings. That’s why there are so many love songs out there: to express what words can hardly convey. Here are some standout romantic lines from some of China’s most popular love songs. If you feel like checking out the whole song, then you can click on the song’s title in the table below. We’ve included YouTube links to all songs for your convenience!

Fun facts about love in Chinese

Chinese Valentine’s Day: 七夕 Qi Xi

Chinese Valentine’s Day commemorates the love story between Zhinü, the weaver girl who weaves rosy clouds in the sky, and Niulang, the cowherd in the mortal world. One day Zhinü became tired of her life in the sky and decided to descend to the mortal world. She met Niulang and, according to the legend, they fell in love.

However, the celestial laws forbade this union and, upon discovering the romance, Queen Mother forced Zhinü back to her former duty in heaven of weaving colorful clouds, and punished the couple by separating them by a river of stars. Moved by the love story between the two, Queen Mother decided to allow them to see each other once every year: on the seventh day of the seventh month of the Chinese Lunar Calendar. That’s why Chinese Valentine’s Day is celebrated on this day!

The romantic story behind Chinese Valentine's Day

If you prefer to visualize the beautiful story of the weaver girl and the cowherd, check out the following video that will narrate the beautiful story with gorgeous visuals:

Classic Chinese love stories

Along with the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, there are three other famous love stories that make up China's Four Great Folktales. While these stories don’t have a specific festival like Qi Xi, they do have a special place in the heart of every romantic’s heart. Keep in mind that these stories are old legends, so there are many variations of them with slightly different endings. Let’s take a brief look at each of them.

The Butterfly Lovers

Often considered to be China’s version of Romeo and Juliet, the Butterfly Lovers story revolves around the love of Liang Shanbo (梁山伯 - liáng shān bó) and Zhu Yingtai (祝英台 - zhù yīng tái), which is why it’s often abbreviated in Chinese as Liang Zhu (梁祝 - liáng zhù). Set in the Eastern Jin Dynasty (317–420), Zhu Yingtai convinces her wealthy father to let her disguise herself as a man to pursue academic studies in Hangzhou. Upon her arrival in Hangzhou, Zhu Yingtai meets Liang Shanbo and they become best friends immediately.

Over her three years of studies in Hangzhou, Zhu Yingtai eventually develops feelings for Liang Shanbo and decides to marry him. One day, she receives a letter from her father asking her to head back home immediately. Zhu comes up with a plan for Liang that he should visit her home so he could marry his sister so she could marry him herself. However, Liang comes home too late and Zhu’s father had already promised her hand in marriage to the son of a wealthy man.

However, Zhu and Liang promised to live together after death if they couldn’t live together while alive. When Liang passed away, Zhu went to visit his grave and wept for hours. The grave suddenly opened, as if by an act of magic, and Zhu jumped in. They both later emerged from the grave as butterflies, which gives the story its name.

Legend of the White Snake

This legend tells the story of Bai Suzhen (白素貞 - bái sù zhēn), a white snake spirit that turned itself into a woman, and Xu Xian (许仙 - xǔ xiān), a scholar. They fell in love, got married, had a child, and lived happily together — all until monk Fa Hai (法海 - fǎ hǎi), who had magical powers, discovered that Bai Suzhen was a snake. Although he tried to warn Xu Xian about his wife to get them to separate, he was madly in love and refused to do so.

Monk Fa Hai tried to separate them by imprisoning Xu Xian in a temple. To rescue her husband, Bai Suzhen and her sister used their power to flood the temple, but she was eventually imprisoned by Fahai in a pagoda. Twenty years later, their son topped the imperial examination and went to the pagoda to pay respect to his mother. His filial piety moved Heaven, who freed Bai Suzhen from the pagoda. The family was finally reunited.

Lady Meng Jiang

The legend of Lady Meng Jiang (孟姜女, mèng jiāng nǚ) narrates how her husband got sent to the construction of the Great Wall by Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of the Qin dynasty. After not hearing back from him for many months, she decided to set out for the Great Wall to bring her husband some warm clothes to endure the winter.

However, upon her arrival, she found out that her husband had died in the construction. She wept so much and for so long that her tears collapsed a section of the wall, revealing the bones of her estranged husband.

Time to go out and show your love in Chinese

Now you know not only 186 unique ways to express love in Chinese, but you also know the correct context for when to use the right words to land the right meaning. Although expressing love directly in Chinese isn’t as common, you won’t be missing the famous three words with so many creative ways to show affection.

If you enjoyed this article and feel confident in your ability to share your love in Chinese, then make sure to check out our Mandarin Chinese blog. We regularly publish super helpful and easy-to-follow guides to exciting topics in Chinese, like 180+ colors in Chinese and phrases for a Chinese resume.